PIP - Purim is Pashut (simple)
Rabbi Ron Yitzchok Eisenman
Congregation Ahavas Israel, Passaic, NJ
What is a Rav? What responsibility should the Rav of a Kehilla regard as priority number one?
This question was posed to three great Gedolim over one hundred years ago.
The Aruch Hashulchan answered that the main responsibility of a Rav should be to pasken shailos (answer halachik questions).
Rav Chaim Soloveitchik Zt”l answered that the main focus of a Rav should be to do Chesed with his Kehilla. As far as answering halachik questions, for that you have dayanim and poskim.
Rav Rafael Shapiro, who was the father in law of Rav Chaim, answered that the calling of Rav is to sit and learn Torah- day and night- all the rest is commentary.
Obviously we all realize that all of these items and much more are the responsibilities of a Rav of a Kehilla.
A Rav has to decide halachik questions; he has do Chesed with everyone and of course he should be a role model for his kehilla in his constant learning of Torah.
One of the days of the year where a Rav has to employ all of these three focal points is on Purim.
On one hand there are many halachik questions which arise on Purim; the proper observance of the Mitzvohs and the proper reading and hearing of the Megillah.
There are many misconceptions about Purim. For instance many people assume that Mishloach Manos has to contain two separate Brochus on the two separate food items. This of course is not true; as an apple and an orange although they share the same brocha are acceptable for Mishloach Manos.
The reading of the Megillah is another example of where the Rav has to guarantee that irrespective of the Purim festivities, each and every word of the Megillah must be heard by men and women alike.
On Purim, the Rav has the opportunity to perform Chesed as often he is the shaliach (agent) appointed by his flock to distribute Matanos L’Evyonim.
By doing the distribution of Matanos L’Evyonim he is not only doing Chesed, he is enabling the entire kehilla to perform Chesed.
Finally, the Rav must set an example -particularly on Purim- for the rest of the kehilla, that Torah study is not suspended. I recall how inspired I was when as a yeshiva bachur I would stop by the home of one of my Rebbeim in the morning and when I asked him a question about Purim he said, “Come back in a couple of hours, I am only on daf ches and the gemara deals with your question later on in the Massechta”. It is beautiful when the Rav is able to share a Torah thought with those that stop by the house on Purim.
One of the particular areas of concern for me on Purim is the problem of the proliferation of Mishloach Manos. The problem of the multitude of Mishloach Manos is disconcerting for many reasons.
- The Rambam (Hilchos Megillah 2:17) writes that when given the choice, one should opt for giving more Matanos L’Evyonim and have a smaller Seudah and give less Mishloach Manos. Therefore, from a purely halachik view, the emphasis of the day should be on helping those who need our help and not on sending out mounds and mounds of unwanted nosh to people who do not need our food. Indeed, the Rambam says the greatest fulfillment of Simcha is when we make those of us who are less fortunate- happy. Therefore, by cutting back on our Mishloach Manos we can hopefully give more money to Matanos L’evyonim.
- The fact that each year people have longer and longer lists of families and individuals who they must send to- is creating an almost impossible financial burden on many families. This, coupled with the fact that people feel that they must give back to all people who give them, is causing tremendous financial strain on many already financially strapped families. The amount of money necessary to finance even a modest Mishloach Manos distributed to even twenty families is becoming a financial hardship for many of us.
- Most of us cannot; do not; and certainly should not be consuming all of these unneeded, unwanted (albeit delicious) delights which fill our homes on Purim. The amount of junk food which pours into the nooks and crannies of all Jewish homes- less than one month before Pesach- is totally superfluous and often (at best) winds up in the garbage bin, or (at worse) in the ever growing midsection of an already overweight individual.
Therefore, because of these issues and others, I have instituted in my kehilla the following program.
PIP –what is PIP?
PIP stands for Purim is Pashut (Purim is simple).
Here is how it works, and indeed, it’s really quite Pashut.
I encourage the entire kehilla to be part of the program so there is no sense feeling that you are swimming against the tide as the entire Shul is in it with you.
Whoever joins and decides to become a PIPer agrees to do the following.
1. To send out the minimal amounts of Mishloach Manos- to two or three people. Preferably we attempt to send to someone who really needs the Mishloach Manos. I encourage the kehilla to find someone who is not on everyone’s list. Perhaps an older person or a single person as opposed to those established families who ‘everyone’ sends to.
2. A sign stating “I do PIP” is hung on the door indicating to all that this house observes PIP and one should not expect a Mishloach Manos in return.
3. There is no problem of not knowing what the sign means for by someone asking, “What is PIP?” the program becomes publicized and you have the opportunity to explain why you are not returning the Mishloach Manos you have just received.
4. Whoever joins PIP does not expect (or even want) everyone to give them Mishloach Manos.
5. Those families who want to express their artistic talents through Mishloach Manos can be given an exception from the normal limit.
6. Children who would like to give to their Moros and Rebbeim are certainly encouraged to do so. However, even children are encouraged to scale down the number of Mishloach Manos they want to distribute.
The Benefits of PIP:
- Money is saved on unwanted Mishloach Manos which can be used by the family and/or be given to Tzedokah.
- Less time is invested in making, packing and distributing Mishloach Manos. This translates into more free time for family bonding and Torah learning.
- People appreciate the Mishloach Manos they do receive and they are able to avoid unnecessary calories and sugar by not getting an abundance of Mishloach Manos.
The greatness of PIP is that it is so Pashut (simple).
However, besides the fact that is fulfills one’s halachik obligations in a mehudar (beautiful) fashion; it is also a Chesed project. It allows families to feel much less financially strained on Purim and allows families to spend more time together. It also allows us to be able to spend more time learning and celebrating Purim without it being a gluttonous binge of goodies.
Obviously, the day of Purim is a day of Simcha and one can modify PIP to suit their particular needs. The purpose of PIP is to increase the Simcha of Purim and decrease the stress of the day; therefore you can modify the program for your individual circumstance.
In the constant battle of attempting to alleviate some financial stress from all of us, and in the ongoing struggle to keep our lifestyles within manageable boundaries, PIP has proven to be very successful in my kehilla.
Anyone out there interested in being a PIPer?
You will not lose out and the rewards both spiritually and gastronomically are well worth the effort.
February 14th, 2011 at 7:56 am
Think food issues in orthodox women would be more about the limited number of options for addictions - both for pleasure and for self abuse. Secular woman can smoke, drink, do drugs, shop till they drop, watch porn, are allowed far more variety in their sexual expression, or can throw all their emotions into high power careers. Secular woman also have far more options when it comes to food - all the way from not storing any food in the house to being able to choose from every single food item marketed.
Food is also the one thing an Orthodox woman can control. If she’s unhappy in her relationship, she has very limited ability to negotiate for change. It is possible to achieve recognition and praise for a delicious meal. It’s also possible to reward and punish by cooking a favorite meal or making something not particularly pleasing. Food is also the one pleasure that can be restricted in fasts but cannot be totally denied to a human being.
Food is also the one method of suicide that everyone has access to. In nursing homes, when the elderly have had enough, they clamp their mouths shut and refuse food and water. Dying from what one consumes is a much, much slower process unless there is a disease process such as diabetes or kidney disease, etc but it still is a way of expressing the desire to harm oneself.
February 14th, 2011 at 8:41 am
I would think Orthodox/Haredi women and men both would have a tendency for obesity and also early heart attacks. There is nearly a WORSHIP of highly fatty/salty/sugary/starchy foods. Some of the most revered “religious” foods are challah (egg bread made with white flour, sugar and eggs), chopped liver made with chicken fat and liver which is high in cholesterol, etc. I wonder if there is a study of heart attack statistics and diabetic statistics among Haredi/Orthodox women and men. I am Jewish, by the way, and do not consider this article to be discriminatory. It is something I, myself, have wondered about.
February 14th, 2011 at 9:19 am
Of course not. Because “religious orthodoxy” is Misogyny Central.
Another DUH study, completely missing the bleeding obvious.
February 14th, 2011 at 9:45 am
Someone has found a use for religion, a way to divide a population, and each group has it’s own diet. How interesting. Diet and religion are connected. They are equally strongly held beliefs, based on tradition where the dead are telling the living how to live. I will try science.
It is my opinion that religions as just a series of concepts that are strictly followed without questioning, without thinking for oneself, without reason, followed out of some sense of duty or tradition. That is not to say that some of their beliefs are not good.
The sugar and grain eating is similar belief based concept that is just ridged, equally ignorant, and anyone who has spent time studying the effects of sugar and grain would likely give them up. Diet is so mixed with religion that we need to leave both to recover from gross obesity. It is my belief that the poor nutritional information is being preached, just like religion.
I live with my own beliefs, knowing that gods are just concepts. I also know that grains are good tasting mild poison to weight control, and sugar is similar. In 1903 we learned hydrogenation, and learned to manufacture an eatable seed oil from what had been lubricants and launched the heart attack industry. Today we manufacture calorie rich nutrient poor eatable products and created the obesity epidemic, and syndrome X. No one seem to care enough to provide the simple truth. We just do more studies, and ignore the blindingly obvious, once we look at it.
For today, I will not eat sugar, grain, lubricants, and manufactured eatable products. Gods are just concepts. But what do I know.
February 14th, 2011 at 12:12 pm
I was surprised to see a 45% rate of disordered eating across all groups. Surely this can’t apply just to anorexia and bulimia, right? Can someone explain to me what “counts” as disordered eating?
February 14th, 2011 at 1:25 pm
I, too, am not surprised. Although I think the media can play a role and the quest for “thinness”–it is only a symptom of living in a patriarchal culture. We have these ads that promote society’s opinions of “beauty”, we have pressure to subscribe and try to meet these standards, but only because they are deemed so by those in power (read: patriarchy). Although the orthodox women may not have access to media pressures, they most likely live in a culture in which there is a certain power (gender) imbalance and less control over their lives and roles. Until women have complete control of their bodies, there is no true equality.
February 14th, 2011 at 6:00 pm
Not surprising. Eating disorders are caused by genetic propensity plus stress. Genes do not respond to level of religious observance, and being Jewish in the middle east is nothing if not stressful.
Jewish cultures around the world have been persecuted and starved for thousands of years, and many of our traditions and rituals reflect the joy of having enough to eat. If eating = happiness, no wonder people eat or refuse to eat (or alternate between the two) when they’re unhappy.
I found this the most interesting finding: “In all groups, women with higher body weight and greater self-criticism were more likely to report disordered eating behaviours.” A good reminder that not everyone with an eating disorder is underweight, and that shaming people for being overweight does not help them improve their eating.
Thanks for the article.
February 14th, 2011 at 8:19 pm
People will be overweight as long as they eat improperly. I have done quite a bit of research and feel that we are eating a diet of too much carbohydrate and/or sugar. If its true that high insulin levels mean fat storage, and high carb levels mean high triglycerides, and high triglycerides mean more small LDL particles that cause plaques, then carb loaded diets are a problem. I’m not saying that we eliminate carbs from our diets, I’m saying that more research is needed on people who eat long term “mediterranean” diets and what their disease and inflammatory state is. So if the segregated Jewish women are eating high carb diets, they will be as fat as the rest of the population. The impetus for weight loss comes from both internal and external sources, as women realize how far they are from the “ideal”. It’s just plain fact that in this era, the ideal is Jennifer Aniston and the rest of us are measured in many respects by our distance from this ideal. We can be smart, efficient, educated, nice and pleasant looking, but there is something lacking if we aren’t “slim”. So an emphasis on healthy weight, eating well, being active, mental health, and knowledge about nutrition would be helpful.
February 17th, 2011 at 1:00 am
Even without direct media influences, there is still tremendous pressure on haredi women to be thin. This may not come from external pressures directly, but haredi men often want a slim woman as a wife. As there is tremendous pressure on young haredi women to be desirable brides, there doesn’t need to be external pressure.
Why do haredi men want skinny wives? That’s a good question, but I think it’s status as much as anything else. The haredi community isn’t less superficial than the secular community. Especially since haredi men and women who are dating can’t get to know each other in much depth before marrying, they don’t have much information to go on before marriage other than looks.
I’m sure it cuts both ways — haredi women may also prefer a more slender man.